If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
