He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
