so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
