I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
