Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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