how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
