She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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