quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
