one two three fourrrrnication!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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