Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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