My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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