Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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