So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
