The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
