brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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