I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
