i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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