dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
