You're my little dorito
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
