she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
