the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
