I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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