she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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