she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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