I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
