Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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