maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
