is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
