you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
