i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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