he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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