if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
