Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
