I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
