it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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