everyone is single if you try hard enough
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize