there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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