what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
