just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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