Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
