I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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