And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you didnt know i had herpes?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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