I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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