Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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