Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
