my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ugly people sure do ruin things
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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