also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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