it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
