Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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