Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you made out with another girl for some wings
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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