sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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