Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
