I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
