Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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