I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
