no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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