i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
