Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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