bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
